Wednesday, March 19, 2014. I returned to work today knowing that my administration had told my staff of my recent struggles. I was thankful to have our MDT meeting. I could ease my way in. I am so incredibly blessed to work with such an amazing staff. There are just some people who after 8 years, know what to say, when to say it. I feel so supported. It was only a year ago, that I had to draw upon the strength of this staff. I can't believe I am here in this place again, needing to lean on others. It is humbling and it is with disbelief that I am once again going through a struggle like this.
Supporting the students and being with the kids is probably the best thing for me. Surprisingly in Kindergarten, I was able to completely forget everything that was going on. Those little faces, they look at me and can't see the sadness or suspect that Mrs Low had been crying. They are joyful and full of energy. It was my favourite hour of the day.
By 3:00 though, my emotions and physical exhaustion got the best of me. I really couldn't keep going. I had held in my worries, fears, pain, discomfort and disbelief all day. I couldn't do it anymore. I needed the safety of my own house, curled up with my husband. Once again, I slept for three hours, and slept soundly. The sounds of my family downstairs comforted me. I was able to get up and spend some time with them. I am feeling like this disease is beginning to make itself at home more and more. I am feeling tired, chilled, achy and itchy. I have to take it one day at a time and not look too far down the road. It becomes too overwhelming.
I received a call from Grand River Hospital that my biopsy is scheduled for Monday, March 24. I have not yet heard from St Mary's Hospital in terms of my instructions or timing. But at least I have a date and can make plans for next week at work. I was also thankful that the biopsy actually wasn't until Monday as then I will be able to watch Jordan's competition on Saturday. This was something very important to me. She has been working so hard and I can't wait to see her new routines! So proud of my girl.