"We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails."
Today has been a day where I have been both embracing and overcoming anger. I am adjusting my sails as I am learning that I cannot control the direction that this journey will take me. It's hard not to let frustration, anger over this happening to me and anxiety to "get going" take over.
After a quick appointment for the gallium injection at St Mary's, I met with the surgeon who will be doing the lymph node biopsy. Once again, what you expect when you go to the appointment turns out very differently from the story you painted in your head for yourself. I have said several times, I have been nothing but grateful and impressed with the efficiency of the specialists in booking appointments for me and communicating results. It has been done in the most caring and expedient of ways.
I will be having a lymph node biopsy of a node in my right armpit, the whole lymph node will be removed on Tuesday, April 8 during day surgery. This is the safest procedure with the fewest risks. Removing a lymph node from my neck or collarbone regions carry risks of damaging nerves connected to my spinal cord area. While I am thinking general anesthetic is not a bad way to go for this, it involves a more lengthy recovery and pushed the surgery to next week. Looking for the silver cloud, as I continue to try to do. It allows me three uninterrupted days of work this week and am opportunity to celebrate the life of a loved one.
So the waiting period continues, allowing me to live a semblance of "normal life" as I know it now. Thank you to my oldest friend who came this weekend for a much needed visit and a basket of my favourite things. What a joy to have a friend who knows you so well that she can choose a variety of items that comfort me, inspire me and give me hope. Thank you M#1.