Tuesday, March 25, 2014
I had a friend comment to me that she hoped that I wasn't becoming "comfortable with cancer". I felt compelled to respond not to her, but to me. I have been turning around what this means in my head. I can definitely say I am NOT comfortable with a cancer diagnosis. What I do feel that I have needed to do over the past week since hearing from two different specialists, a virtual certainty that I had a form of lymphoma is begin to form an acceptance in my mind. An acceptance of the journey ahead, what's to come, a reality. My first response was understandably, denial, sadness, disbelief and devestation. These emotions are not going to help me fight. I soon realized that the sooner, I progressed to acceptance, the sooner I could begin to build a strength that will help me face this hurdle and overcome. There is nothing comfortable about what I am facing. I fully intend to make my probable cancer an enemy in my body, not welcome to stay, soon to be vacated. It will be a fight. I am ready for it.