Many of you in my life know that a close friend, colleague and mentor of mine lost her courageous battle with cancer this past week. It has taken me some time to reflect and process an outcome I knew was inevitable but never fully prepared for. As Sharon would say “our monster” workloads, sometimes prevent us from taking the time that we really need for self-care. We balance between “taking care of ourselves” to burying under work and tedius tasks to push the pain aside. My intentional word of 2021 is balance. And I continue to strive to find it. Grieving loss involves allowing oneself to feel all the emotions, sadness, anger, while at the same time honouring and celebrating how one person impacted so many. I teeter between the two worlds on a daily basis
I am so appreciative of the outpouring of support through our professional world and my close connections. A fellow cancer survivor who is also a work colleague wrote me and said “when you have had the time you need, I would love to sit down with you and listen to what Sharon has taught you through your friendship and her journey with fighting cancer. I felt ready today to begin to reflect on what I take from her moving forward. I have titled this blog post, “Buy the Boots”
“Humble” - I am humbled by Sharon’s far-reaching impact in education. I remember in the summer she forwarded me an email that she received from a former student. She was blown away by the influence that this young lady took forward in her life from being in Sharon’s class for one year. In taking over Sharon’s two schools in our special education consultant role, I became part of the teams that she so capably guided for many years. Someone asked me, “ are you the new Sharon?” - I laughed, how could I ever possibly compare? I told Sharon, I will have to warn them, I am not as funny. Her response “ LOL Different strengths. They will love you, and your expertise. You are one of my besties and they will know you are a gift”
“Tap Out” - Sharon had a great line that she often used. It is one that I have repeated to myself this past year, as I learned to navigate this consultant role without her daily advice. As we would hash out, vent and problem solve issues, she would raise an eyebrow and look at me and say “time to tap out Low?” - “Tap out” can mean, stop saying yes when we are overwhelmed by workload, “Tap out” can mean let others take a lead, to step back and give others an opportunity to lead. “Tap out” can mean asking for a change. “Tapping someone” means giving someone an opportunity, recognizing a strength. Sharon was a master at both. She so skillfully elevates others strengths, and when she saw talent she made sure they were recognized and given credit. But she would let others lead, support their role, and do the work with you.
#What Would Sharon Say - Sharon was a master with vocabulary. Sharon used terms of endearment, one-liners and truth in order to let people know they were special to her, but at the same time, she was a straight-shooter, and you never guessed where she stood on an issue, a person or a decision. It didn’t take long being in her life for her to establish little names that only she could use professionally and still deliver respect. “Chica, Michi, Super Dave, Parking, Benedetti, “The closer”, “Big Daddy”, #shadupandrea, Nonna” - One liners, “release it to Jesus”, “bite me”, “that’s how we roll”, a select other few. I think what I learned the most, is making sure you have built that relationship, that a colleague or parent knows they matter to you, then you will be able to tackle the harder stuff. Sharon could ask the really hard questions (and use really big words) that no one else wanted to ask. She would pause, wait for the right moment (maybe insert one liner) and Bam! I think many of us continue that mantra #wwss as we remember her
“Balls Out” - Strength comes in many forms. It looks different to each of us. There was nothing frail about SLawton. Her physical strength from years of conditioning allowed her to enjoy her love of the outdoors up until her final days. I joked with her that after 3 full days of chemo, she could still outwalk me. But she was strong in so many other ways. Facing setbacks, frustrations, debilitating side effects from treatment. Her comment to me after another hospital visit was “I just need to keep rolling.” She wanted to live and keep living. I told Sharon early on in her diagnosis that I thought she was amazing, her response “I don’t know if I’m amazing but I am pretty balls out right now” Balls Out. Enough said. The perfect one liner to Sharon’s strength.
“Let it Simmer” - From Sharon, I have learned the power of reflection, of taking one’s time before sending an email, responding to a call, not to sweat the small stuff, to not be in a rush, to stop apologizing for being late or forgetting a job, to put something on low heat.. We all need to give ourselves grace. Sharon lived life “just in time”, she able to put it on simmer and this type A, intense, wound up girl needed a little just in time living,
“Buy the Boots” - A few summers ago, Sharon and I were at a conference. Truth be told, in theory we were at a conference, the reality was “marina patios, corona margaritas, sangria, world up soccer, long walks, sizzling summer heat, lavender field roadtrips and exploring the shopping downtown Peterborough has to offer. We walked into this little shoe store, and saw these tall, flowered, doc marrtin boots. Of course they were a size 7. SLawton you have to buy those boots. She had to send her work husband a pic to get his approval. Ricky would shake his head, but secretly love her spirit. She even then bartered a deal and we walked out with those boots. That’s how Sharon rolled. Treat yourself, no regrets, live large, make a statement, life your life in color, seize the moment, do something kind for someone else, life can change so quickly make the most of the situation. And in the end, “Buy the damn boots”
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